Hi My name is Doctor Prajakta Koli I always wanted to become a doctor I have seen how people worship doctors like gods And since I was a child I had a craze for such things I have grown up watching such serials and films based on doctors Like Sanjeevani, Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Strange And now I have a clinic of my own and understand that even doctors have their good and bad days And it’s not always that a doctor can express his thoughts out loud Oh man What brings you here? I have a sore throat I’ll just… Oh! No worries, we’ll get you fixed right away I’ll just just what is the issue with your throat Open your mouth Yeah yeah open your mouth because I don’t care much for my life Hmmm you have to pay a visit to the dentist I mean I can see the destruction of the entire Harrapan civilisation in your mouth Lord why do I not wear my mask at such times when I need it the most Seems like there was a special dinner last night Palak Paneer? Aloo Palak Done! I’ll write you a dose of medicine, you wil be fine in 3 days I’ll write two types of chewing gum and mouth wash in her prescription What Happened? I think I am getting a heart attack Sigh! Another over-actor Since when do you have this pain? Since the last 30 minutes and I have seen it on Gogle it could be a cardiac arrest There could be a possibility of a bad heart condition So you should have checked on google and done a DIY open heart surgery why have you come here to disrespect me Where is the pain in the left hand? Where were you before this? I went grocery shopping with my wife What all did you buy? 5 kgs of potatoes, 3 kgs of onions 1 kg carrots and 500 gms ladyfiner. and in which hand were you holding it Deepak? In my left hand since I was golding my wife I the right hand Maybe that’s why I have a pain in my arm. From the next time I’ll distribute the weight Not everything is a heart attack now go and relax for a while at home Thank you so much for saving my life If you weren’t there today I don’t know what would’ve happened to me People are right when they say that doctors are like angels There will never be a shortage of stupid people in this world Oh ho, what happened? Doctor I am feeling extremely unwell What happened? Don’t know, I can’t speak Did you have something cold? since when are you feeling like this? Since the last 4 days, cant event go to office on holiday since these days Can you please write me a…. She wants a medical certificate Come let’s get you checked No no that is not necessary You just write me some medication and make me a certificate That I am not well, I will have to submit that in office Now she has come to the main point I didn’t spend years to become a doctor only to validate your lies I am a doctor I have a solution for this too But I have to check you first, how else will I make a certificate? Open your mouth You have been infected with hippopotimisitus WHAT! I mean what Yes you have that, I am a doctor I know it This is a very serious case No No doctor You need a 10 day strict rest and you can talk to anyone you are in a terrible condition See my voice has returned You were complaining right when you had come saying you weren’t feeling well. I am saying you are unwell No no I’ll fix you in a jiffy No doctor no It wont hurt you much Just look on the other side Don’t give me an injection What happened? My stomach is hurting very badly Oh don’t worry, you lie don’t, I’ll get you checked Is this hurting? No What about here? nooo And here?? I swear on my Hippocratic oath if I faint because of this gas chamber I will inject his rear with 4 injections Susheela switch on the exhaust Feeling better now? feeling amazing now. I think it was just gas Still was a precaution I am writing you these medicines take it twice in the day Okay? Your total is 400 rupees 400? Last time you charged me 200 only Last time your stomach was also clear Such people should have an air freshener attached to them Welcome back Dinesh, what is the issue today? Nothing at all I am fine I can see you aren’t fine, come here, you have fever Dinesh No no it can’t be fever What do you mean there is nothing, don’t take this so lightly Come there let’s examine you All this is not needed, you just prescribe some medication for me and get me well Take a deep breath now Doctor that I take everyday Just please get me well asap What do you mean by asap You will have to take a 4 day antibiotic course, twice a day 4 DAYS! Not 4 days I am not that sick How will it work like this Dinesh? I am a strong guy my core is very strong and my immunity is… I will have the medicine 4 times a day instead of 2 and get well in 2 days, I’ll come meet you in 2 days don’t worry this is the case everytime, they will come to you last moment asking you to fix them in 2 minutes. What’s in 2 minutes? 4 days? Not 4 days What rush do you have? Actually it’s my best friends bachelor party in 2 days so I have to leave, please help me recover in 2 days These guys have made a mockery of us doctors My name is Dr. Prajakta not Dr. Fixit that I’ll fix things in 2 minutes Start this course right away, okay! Doctor it’s fine if I consume alcohol while taking these antibiotics right?
Written by Valentin Lakin
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